Temporary

Emotions are not problems to be solved, but signals to be listened to.             Hilary Jacobs Hendel There’s a curious thing about emotions that often catches people out. You can think you’re feeling one thing, only to realise later that it was actually something else wearing a very convincing disguise. The world of emotions is not a neat little row of bottles with matching labels. It’s more like a drawer full of tangled cables, old receipts, and the charger from a phone you haven’t owned in six years.  In psychology, we often distinguish between primary and secondary emotions to help sort the emotional chaos. Understanding the difference between the two is not only a helpful tool for emotional regulation but a deeply empowering act of personal awareness. Primary emotions are the ones that show up first. They are immediate, instinctive, and often universal. These include joy, fear, anger, sadness, surprise, and disgust. They tend to a...

There are moments in life when the human brain feels like it has ideas of its own. You sit down to rest, and it starts rehashing old arguments, planning imaginary catastrophes, composing shopping lists, and reminding you of that time in 2007 when you waved at someone who wasn’t waving at you. This, according to former monk Jay Shetty, is the Monkey Mind in full swing, restless, chattering, and frankly exhausting. The Monkey Mind, he explains, is the part of our thinking that is reactive, unsettled, and easily distracted. It thrives on stimulation and struggles with stillness. In his words, “The monkey mind is constantly distracted by new ideas, fears, worries, and interruptions.” It is not malicious. It simply lacks training. It is, as we might say in Britain, a bit all over the place, like a toddler with a tambourine. Jay contrasts this with what he calls the Monk Mind. Unlike its frenzied cousin, the Monk Mind is calm, grounded, and values-led. It does not banish thoughts...

If brains came with ingredient labels, most of us would have something like this printed on our foreheads: Contains: ADHD (63 percent), Autism (24 percent), Anxiety (mild but spicy), Hormonal volatility (handle with care), and traces of existential dread. And the thing is, you would be right to laugh. Because brains are not neat little categories. They are wild, wonderful recipes written by a half-blind chef on a rollercoaster, using ingredients found in the back of the cupboard.  Your neurotype is not a diagnosis stamped on your birth certificate. It is a profile. And a profile is more like a family lasagne than a barcode. One part inherited brain wiring, one part environmental spice, one part trauma sauce, and a whole lot of life’s unpredictable seasoning. You Are a Recipe, Not a Diagnosis Most people think of ADHD or autism as static labels. But they are more like recipes with varying amounts of ingredients. You might have a primary neurotype (your dominant fla...

“Your suffering is never caused by the person you are blaming.” Yes, yes, I know. That sounds like the kind of thing someone says right before they hand you a cold cup of herbal tea and tell you everything is a learning opportunity. But stay with me. While it may come across as philosophical fluff, this idea is rooted in the hard science of how your brain wires, misfires, and (thankfully) rewires. Let us begin with the obvious: when someone behaves appallingly, it seems only fair to point the emotional finger in their direction. If Gary from accounting undermines your idea in front of the team, surely Gary is the problem. If your sister-in-law continues to make passive-aggressive remarks about your life choices over Christmas dinner, then naturally, she is the source of your discomfort. But here is the rather inconvenient truth, delivered with the warmest possible tone: your brain is the one keeping the discomfort going. You see, the human brain is marvellously talented at ...

If you have ever used the London Underground then you will probably remember them telling you to "Mind the Gap" between the tube train and the platform. So that's what comes to mind when I think of 'The Gap'.  During my research I became fascinated with the semi conscious and what happens there. I understood the automatic processes that happen in the subconscious and how we use our conscious mind. But what about this in-between 'place' in our brain. It turns out that amazing things happen there. I call this the neuroplastic gap.  Picture this. You are about to say something you will regret. Your face is heating up, your heart is pounding, and the words are already queuing at the exit like a crowd at a train station. Then, you pause. Not dramatically, but just long enough to shift your track. You have just stepped into the neuroplastic gap. You may not have known it existed, but your brain did. This gap is a small, powerful space between a trig...

Inherited Bias and Neurodivergent Brains "Children are not born prejudiced. They are taught to think a certain way. And if they can be taught, they can be untaught." — Jane Elliott And the same applies to adults because of the flexing neuroplasticity of the brain. All brain types host beliefs you never invited, like the ones that arrive in childhood. Perhaps someone left it on your mental doorstep wrapped in politeness and passed-off wisdom. This is how inherited bias operates.  For neurodivergent brains, it does not simply get tucked away in the attic. It is catalogued, indexed, and defended with the full force of logic, habit, and emotional muscle memory. So let's take a tour of four particularly nuanced brains: ASD, ADHD, PDA and RSD . Each one has its own unique way of absorbing, holding, and eventually confronting inherited bias. Think of them as four flatmates living in the same house, each reacting very differently to an old, unlabelled package someone...